Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
