i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
