ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Can I color on your dick again?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
