You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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