i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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