You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
