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i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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