He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
