Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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