i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
