Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
