If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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