What a fucking waste of an outfit
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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