just tell him i said nine months
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize