Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
