are you still at the devil's house?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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