Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wannas sexs uuuuu
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
