Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
