What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
