Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
