K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He kissed a someone with a penis
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Randomize
