my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize