i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
