Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
