oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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