Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
