turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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