What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
