Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
