You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Soap is not a condiment
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
