the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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