Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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