I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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