His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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