I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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