Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
