I accidentally had phone sex last night
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
this is an emotional support booty call
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
