it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize