I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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