So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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