You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
