ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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