its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize