My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
