Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
