and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
