So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
this will be a night to untag.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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