You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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