she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
