I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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