The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
