I'm so fucking centered right now
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
