but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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