Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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