Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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