two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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