He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
