I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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