Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
