That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
