i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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