so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
