HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
