why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
