I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
