You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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