My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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