There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
