he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
