frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i came on her dog
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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