there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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