Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
