I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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