question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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