The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
