So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm just crazy horny about you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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