so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
