smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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