chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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