I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Porn is love you can see.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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