I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's blow job season.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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