"it" just moved
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize