Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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