so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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