did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
