Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
